HALL-O-WEEN!

Happy Halloween Everyone! This is one of my favorite holidays. I absolutely love this time of the year. What is everyone being for halloween? I am being a martini glass. All of my roomates are being alcoholic drinks. Should be a great time! Everyone please be careful and have a safe holiday. Also this the number you can call for someone to walk with you, if you are alone or scared. 856-256-4900.

 

This is Halloween, this is Halloween…

On the eve of my favorite holiday, I have to think back as to who we can thank for this incredible fesitival of trashy cotumes and over-sugared children. No, not Samhein, the pagan holiday, but the candy companies of America! Samhain is known as the Celtic New Year when pagans,especially Wiccans, honor the dead. Now, dressing up as Michael Myers is not actually honoring the dead.

This is what really happened: Nestle, M&M Mars, and Hershey had a pow-wow as a way to getmore money from the public. Unfortunately, Cadbury had a date for tea ith the Queen, so they weren’t invited. They couldn’t amp up Christmas since they knew every kid would throw a hissy fit if they got a Crunch bar instead of a Barbie doll. Easter is good for the small candies, but they knew they’d be slapped with a lawsuit the size of Texas if they infringed on Peeps’ territory. President’s day? Eh… passe. Memorial day? People are too busy barbequeing and buying last season’s cars. Oh wait! All Hallow’s Eve! They could inadevertantly tie t to history AND piss off Christians! It’s a win-win situation, really. Then they could tie in with cheap costume companies and the stock market prices would skyrocket!

Back to reality. Although I am against the capatalist meaning behind Halloween, I can’t help but immerse myself in pagan history, stalk out thrift stores for costumes, make my own, and gain five pounds in three days from solely eating tootsie rolls and kitkats. Halloween is an excuse for women to dress up like prostitutes, men to release their inner pimp, children to run around hyped up on sugar and driving their parents crazy, and for everyone to feed their gluttonous and lustful souls. Actually, they feed all seven of their deadly sins. Halloween in one night shows everything that is wrong with the human race, and I love it.